INT. BEDROOM - EVENING
KYLE is on the phone with his girlfriend, SARAH.
KYLE
It’ll just be a couple more days, and I’ll be back in town before you know it.
(a beat)
I know, me too. Two days. I promise. It’s just he’s getting older now, and I worry about him sometimes.
(a beat)
Yeah, I miss you, too. Two days. It’ll be just two more days. I promise.
Kyle holds phone to his chest and looks around.
KYLE (CONT’D)
So, what you wearing?
(a beat)
No, he’s not around.
(giggles)
The red ones?
(a beat)
Don’t worry, he can’t hear us. Okay, alright, alright, I’ll hold you to it. You know I will!
Kyle’s father, MARK, enters the room.
KYLE (CONT’D)
(whispering)
Okay, he just entered the room. I’ll talk to you soon, and we can see about those clothes. Gotta go!
KYLE (CONT’D)
Oh, hey, dad! What’s happening?
Kyle’s father fumbles with a childhood toy on the dresser.
FATHER
Son, I couldn’t help but overhear you were talking to a girl.
KYLE
Yeah...? You’ve met Sarah before, dad.
FATHER
She the one with braces?
KYLE
No, Sarah’s thirty. I think she’s a little old for braces.
FATHER
Right, right, right...
Kyle’s father sits down on the edge of the bed.
FATHER (CONT’D)
Listen, son. I think it’s about time we had a talk.
KYLE
Uh, okay. What did you have on your mind, dad?
FATHER
You know what love is, son?
KYLE
Yeah...?
FATHER
Well, when a man loves a woman they become close to one another.
KYLE
Dad, I think I’m old enough to know what I’m doing.
FATHER
Now, just be quiet and listen to your father, Kyle. Remember last week when your mother and I were wrestling on the carpet?
KYLE
Dad, I don’t think...
FATHER
Be quiet. This is serious!
KYLE
But dad!
FATHER
No buts, Kyle.
(a beat)
Me and your mother, well, we weren’t wrestling. You probably were wondering why all our clothes were off, and the room was hotter than Hades.
KYLE
Dad! I don’t think I want to hear about you and mom that way!
FATHER
Right, right, right...
Kyle’s father has drifted off and he appears to have lost his train of thought.
KYLE
Dad... Are you okay?
Mark comes to.
FATHER
Kyle, I think we need to have a talk.
KYLE
I thought that’s what we were doing?
FATHER
When a woman loves a man...
KYLE
Yeah, I know you and mom.
FATHER
Oh, so you saw?
(a beat)
I wish that weren’t true. Your mother and I... well, we can go at it like two jackrabbits in the springtime. My God, that mother of yours almost gave me a heart-attack. She’s a rider if you know what I mean?
KYLE
Dad! C’mon, I think I’m a little old to be hearing about you and mom’s love life!
FATHER
You’re never to old to learn a lesson, son. I wish my father had this talk with me.
KYLE
You secretly wished that Grandpa told you about how he had sex with Grandma?
FATHER
You’re damn right. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been a mistake.
KYLE
What?! A mistake. I was a mistake?! What do you mean I was a mistake?
Kyle’s father has drifted off again. There’s a long pause.
KYLE (CONT’D)
Dad?
FATHER
Yes, son?
KYLE
Was I a mistake?
FATHER
Mistake? Kyle, what are you talking about?
KYLE
You just said I was a mistake?
FATHER
Jesus. Son, are you alright? It’s like you’ve just gotten some bad news?
KYLE
(sighs)
Nevermind, dad.
FATHER
How’s your girl doing?
KYLE
Sarah? She’s fine, dad.
FATHER
I’ve noticed you two are getting pretty close.
KYLE
We’ve been seeing each other for some time now. I think she might be the one.
FATHER
Right, right, right...
(a beat)
Son, I think we need to have a talk.
KYLE
Is this about how I was a mistake for you and mom?
FATHER
A mistake? Good lord, no. Who gave you that idea? Believe me, you were no mistake, Kyle. Your mother and I love you, and we’re always proud that you were our first child.
KYLE
Awww, thanks dad.
FATHER
Yes, I remember when you’re mother became pregnant with you. No you were no mistake, son. That was a night to remember. The windows were closed, and it was hot as hell! You wouldn’t believe how hot it was. I almost needed an IV drip after all the sweat I poured on your mom.
KYLE
Dad...
FATHER
What? I mean your mother was practically begging for it...
KYLE
Dad! C’mon, I’m your son!
FATHER
You’re damn right you’re my son, and now you know that when you love a woman you might end up dancing with the Devil speaking in tongues.
KYLE
Okay, I think you’ve told me enough. I’m out of here.
Kyle storms out of the room.
FATHER
What did you think, son? That we were wrestling?